So, Valentine’s Day is looming; whether you think it’s just a load of old twaddle for people to make money or an opportunity to show your love and appreciation to someone, have you ever thought about you being your own Valentine?

Before we go into this area, let’s just reflect on some common stages of personal relationships…

When we meet someone to which we are attracted we tend to see all their positive qualities; we look for similarities and ignore any of the ‘other’ stuff – the negatives – or we see it as ‘quirky’.

Then, a little further into the relationship, we start to notice things which begin to irritate us; we start to wonder why the other person doesn’t think or act like we do. Yes, the rose-coloured specs are wearing off and reality is kicking in.

Later, we may start to criticise more because we don’t like it when our partner starts asserting their individuality, doing things differently to how we think they should. Now we start focusing on their ‘lack’ – what they don’t do, say etc.

After a while, these ‘qualities’ become magnified and …